Tuesday, August 31, 2010

If only .. & Your Last ...

Dear lao gong

If only ..

  • i know the accident will happen, i won't let u buy a bike
  • u told me that u were going out to meet ur friends that night, i will stop u from going
  • we have enough savings, u won't sell the car and change to a bike
  • i dun have a bit of pre natal blues, i will talk to u more and have given u more attention
  • i dun need to do confinement, i can keep u company everyday
  • ur workload is not so heavy, u won't feel so stressed up everyday
  • u can hear Bella calling 'daddy' and smile at u, u will be very happy
  • u r around, we will be able to fulfill our hopes and dreams
  • the accident didn't happen, we will live happily ever after
  • i know y u left us so early
  • u r here by my side, i wouldn't feel so sad
  • i could tell u how much i love u
  • u r here, Bella will have a great daddy
  • time could stood still, i will hold u tight and never let u go
  • i could just have one wish, i definitely would want u to be back by my side..
Your last ...

  • goodbye - 15 august at 10pm when u left my house
  • kiss -15 august at 10pm when u kiss me goodbye
  • SMS - 15 august at 10.36pm when u text me to let me know u reached home safely
  • meal together - 15 august, we had home cook meal at home for dinner
  • time u see Bella - 15 august
  • laugh with me - 15 august, when we gossip about some stuff
  • Drink - beer
  • country u've travelled to with me - Bali in May
  • movie with me - Twilight Eclipse in AMK hub on july
  • tv programme - channel 8's "Love"
  • arugment with me - can't remember, it's been a really long time since we last quarrel
  • shopping mall u went with me - Junction 8 , in july
I know my blog will make anyone sad when they read it. I want to say Sorry to those whose mood are affected by me.. I just want to write whatever i wanted to say to u .. I guess that's the only way i can do it .. I will feel a little bit better after i've written what i want to say. Tears are drying up..I think i've cried too much..  I've been cooping myself in the room since the day u left me, i only leave my room when there are visitors. As u know, i love to watch tv and like to laze in the living room. But now i dun do that anymore.. I've tried watching tv for the past few days, but nothing gets into my head.. i just stare blindly at the tv and kept on thinking about u.. I do not know when will i stop thinking about u.. maybe i will never stop..

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gal,

Do not stop writing. It is your way to vent everything out and it definately makes u feel better. This is your channel so make your emotions and thoughts known. Its your way of speaking to him so never stop..

Anonymous said...

Hey, you dun have to apologize to us readers for yr blog... yr blog really shows how much u love yr hubby and how much u miss him... I am sure anyone who reads yr blog wish that we can ease yr pain in someway... Yr blog actually tells how how short life can be and how impt it is to treasure every single moment... Be strong for Bella n yourself... He is there, watching over you n Bella always... Take care...

Joanne said...

dear ger.. I noe u r hurting.. It's good tat u r letting it out in a way thru ur blog.. Jia you!

Bixia said...

Mcleen, its a good thing that you are letting it out via your blog, keep it up and stay strong for Bella and yourself!