To my dearest
Today is your 33 yr old birthday .. Suppose to be a happy occasion for both of us. We should be celebrating this happy day with our little angel , out for a nice birthday lunch and spending some quality time with u when Bella is asleep.. Still remember we celebrated ur birthday last year at my place & I've bought a beautiful cake for u. U've made a wish. Your wish to spend every birthday with me And Bella .. God didnt give u a chance . He is cruel ..
This morning I've brought Bella over to mother's place . Mother has arranged for the whole family to visit u today .. 6 of us went to the cemetery . Mother , 2nd brother & wife, 3rd brother & wife and myself .. First bro & wife din come along cos they went
Malaysia .Mother was very sad today . So do all of us . Forgive mother for scolding ur mistakes for drink & ride that caused the mishap .. She doesn't mean it & I know u understand as she can be naggy sometimes . She was just too heartbroken . We prayed for u , prayed to god to save ur soul and u r in the good hands of god . I know u r watching over us .. Keeping us safe . Thank you my dear .
It's really so sad to spend this day feeling so down .. A lot of people cared for me and give me lots of support . Some of your friends & colleagues whom i've never met before give meloads if encouragement. I'm really thankful to all of u for being there with me and empathize me. However, moving on seemed impossible for me . I will always be grieving.It is definitely a permanent scar that can never be healed.
It's supposed to be a joyous day .. My blog shouldn't be so gloomy .. Still miss u a lot. And I will miss u forever . I have no regrets loving u cos u r indeed a great man. It's really a pity that we can't sPend the rest of our lives together when we both have a head full of grey hairs and even, become grandparents. I will, finish ur incomplete journey & when I meet u one day , I will tell u all the wonderful moments . Wait for me my dear . 永远爱你的老婆。
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
i strike toto !!!~
Dear lao gong
I strike group 4 toto on thursday .. First time picking my own system 7 toto numbers and i hit 5 numbers .. I bought my age, ur age, bella's birthday , our wedding date and the day we knew each other. Collected by prize of $1396 on friday .. It's really a very rare case that i will buy toto or 4d cos' i dun believe i have lottery luck. I guess if u r around , u would be happy too ...
I've decided to donate a portion of my winnings to the red cross for the japanese. It's really crisis there .. everyday my heart breaks when i read the news about japan .. what's has mother nature done ???
I have started to feel Bella porridge.. and she loves it !! she's 7 and a half months old now ... Hmm.. now should be the time for me to start planning my leave and planning how to celebrate her one year old birthday ..
August will be a month of mix feelings for me.. Celebration for Bella .. and an anniversary for u .. Contradiction . That's really what i hate the most . And the worse part is .. I still got to spend many Augusts .. feeling the same thing over and over again...
I strike group 4 toto on thursday .. First time picking my own system 7 toto numbers and i hit 5 numbers .. I bought my age, ur age, bella's birthday , our wedding date and the day we knew each other. Collected by prize of $1396 on friday .. It's really a very rare case that i will buy toto or 4d cos' i dun believe i have lottery luck. I guess if u r around , u would be happy too ...
I've decided to donate a portion of my winnings to the red cross for the japanese. It's really crisis there .. everyday my heart breaks when i read the news about japan .. what's has mother nature done ???
I have started to feel Bella porridge.. and she loves it !! she's 7 and a half months old now ... Hmm.. now should be the time for me to start planning my leave and planning how to celebrate her one year old birthday ..
August will be a month of mix feelings for me.. Celebration for Bella .. and an anniversary for u .. Contradiction . That's really what i hate the most . And the worse part is .. I still got to spend many Augusts .. feeling the same thing over and over again...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My impression of u
Dear lao gong
The first impression that u've given me .. weren't that great though . To me, u r just another playboy that i've met in pubs that i've frequent. Well.. time really proved me wrong . U were great . In fact, the greatest. I really thank god for letting me meet such a good guy. Though time is short .. memories are always the sweetest ...
U've shown me the most sincere side of u and u've given me all the love that u can give. It is really amazing. To walk down the aisle holding your hand tight and making the vow of our lives. I really love u. Thank you for treating me and giving me the best that you could. I will never forget all of them ..
U were a great man .. U had a good personality .. U r a good hubby.. Though u can be childish at times and act cute in front of me . I'm always proud of u , proud of your job , proud of everything that u did. U r a responsible person. Serious at work , looking stern in ur army uniform , and after a day of hard work, u r a responsible hubby. U were a simple guy leading a simple life. U were honest too and u've revealed to me everything about your past. Thank you for your honesty .. As i've said before , the past were the past . I don't mind anything .. we should look forward to the future and change for the better ..
Mother can be naggy at times .. This is her way to show care and concern for u .. I understand why sometimes u raised your voice at her cos' after a long day of work, u were tired and yet mother still nags at u. I've asked u before , will u do the same to me in 10 years down the road after u got sick and tired of me. U promised u won't .. Thank u my dear .. that really means a lot to me ..
Whatever u did and u have given me .. Were the best i've ever had... I've never blamed you for leaving me so early.. I can only submit to fate. Learning to be strong is the toughest mission in my life .. Every night i will think of u before i sleep .. This has become a habit. I think i just miss u too much ..
The first impression that u've given me .. weren't that great though . To me, u r just another playboy that i've met in pubs that i've frequent. Well.. time really proved me wrong . U were great . In fact, the greatest. I really thank god for letting me meet such a good guy. Though time is short .. memories are always the sweetest ...
U've shown me the most sincere side of u and u've given me all the love that u can give. It is really amazing. To walk down the aisle holding your hand tight and making the vow of our lives. I really love u. Thank you for treating me and giving me the best that you could. I will never forget all of them ..
U were a great man .. U had a good personality .. U r a good hubby.. Though u can be childish at times and act cute in front of me . I'm always proud of u , proud of your job , proud of everything that u did. U r a responsible person. Serious at work , looking stern in ur army uniform , and after a day of hard work, u r a responsible hubby. U were a simple guy leading a simple life. U were honest too and u've revealed to me everything about your past. Thank you for your honesty .. As i've said before , the past were the past . I don't mind anything .. we should look forward to the future and change for the better ..
Mother can be naggy at times .. This is her way to show care and concern for u .. I understand why sometimes u raised your voice at her cos' after a long day of work, u were tired and yet mother still nags at u. I've asked u before , will u do the same to me in 10 years down the road after u got sick and tired of me. U promised u won't .. Thank u my dear .. that really means a lot to me ..
Whatever u did and u have given me .. Were the best i've ever had... I've never blamed you for leaving me so early.. I can only submit to fate. Learning to be strong is the toughest mission in my life .. Every night i will think of u before i sleep .. This has become a habit. I think i just miss u too much ..
Monday, March 14, 2011
It's been a while
Dear lao gong
Sorry hasn't been writing for the past weeks .. been busy with work and home and it's been so long since i last on my laptop .. Most of the time i've used my iphone to surf the web .. been real tired .. it's been closed to 7 months since u were gone . Still feeling so heartbroken and i still miss u a lot . Has been hanging out with my friends and colleagues recently for some happy hour drink after work . The feeling is even worse when i get high on alcohol .. Guess i really need a break ..
Last tuesday i've been to the cemetery with Bella to visit u .. How have u been ? I've given u a nice polish and i've put 3 angels to watch over u .. Hope u like it .. Bella is 7 mth 12 days old .. Time really pass by so fast .. in a few months time .. she will be a year old .. It's really great to see her growing day by day .. I know u've missed her .. And i know that u are feeling so hurtful for not being able to watch her grow and carry her in your arms .. Bella is getting cuter .. Now she's learning how to crawl .. She recognises people and keeps calling "papa" everyday .. How i wished u could hear her calling papa .. U will be touched with tears .. I still remember that u told me u nearly cried when u witness the birth of Bella . U said u controlled your tears cos' there are doctor and nurses around .. How egoistic can u be ... But u're forgiven cos' u've told me how u felt ..
Been visiting mother with Bella for the past few Sundays .. Mother is still the same .. Heartbroken .. And sometimes still can't believe the fact that u're gone .. I always believe life is unfair and can't be perfect ! u gain some , u lose some .. The biggest loss in my life is losing u .. No one expected that . Mother always ask me whether have u found your way up in heaven and in Christ arms .. I don't have an answer . I really don't know . Do u still remember us and miss us ? I don't have an answer either .. But i really hope u do. Cos' all of us here .. miss u so much.
Big tragedy happened last friday . Massive earthquake which resulted in a deadly tsunami in Japan . I've watched the news that shows what happened to Japan .. I really can't believe it .. I cried when i watched the news .. Life is just too fragile .. I'm learning to cherish every moment .. learning to be happy which is real difficult .. I felt a difference in me and in my life .. It's tough .. really so tough .. why do i have to learn it by the hardest way .. it's so unfair ! and i really hate it !
Sorry hasn't been writing for the past weeks .. been busy with work and home and it's been so long since i last on my laptop .. Most of the time i've used my iphone to surf the web .. been real tired .. it's been closed to 7 months since u were gone . Still feeling so heartbroken and i still miss u a lot . Has been hanging out with my friends and colleagues recently for some happy hour drink after work . The feeling is even worse when i get high on alcohol .. Guess i really need a break ..
Last tuesday i've been to the cemetery with Bella to visit u .. How have u been ? I've given u a nice polish and i've put 3 angels to watch over u .. Hope u like it .. Bella is 7 mth 12 days old .. Time really pass by so fast .. in a few months time .. she will be a year old .. It's really great to see her growing day by day .. I know u've missed her .. And i know that u are feeling so hurtful for not being able to watch her grow and carry her in your arms .. Bella is getting cuter .. Now she's learning how to crawl .. She recognises people and keeps calling "papa" everyday .. How i wished u could hear her calling papa .. U will be touched with tears .. I still remember that u told me u nearly cried when u witness the birth of Bella . U said u controlled your tears cos' there are doctor and nurses around .. How egoistic can u be ... But u're forgiven cos' u've told me how u felt ..
Been visiting mother with Bella for the past few Sundays .. Mother is still the same .. Heartbroken .. And sometimes still can't believe the fact that u're gone .. I always believe life is unfair and can't be perfect ! u gain some , u lose some .. The biggest loss in my life is losing u .. No one expected that . Mother always ask me whether have u found your way up in heaven and in Christ arms .. I don't have an answer . I really don't know . Do u still remember us and miss us ? I don't have an answer either .. But i really hope u do. Cos' all of us here .. miss u so much.
Big tragedy happened last friday . Massive earthquake which resulted in a deadly tsunami in Japan . I've watched the news that shows what happened to Japan .. I really can't believe it .. I cried when i watched the news .. Life is just too fragile .. I'm learning to cherish every moment .. learning to be happy which is real difficult .. I felt a difference in me and in my life .. It's tough .. really so tough .. why do i have to learn it by the hardest way .. it's so unfair ! and i really hate it !
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| 3 little angels with u .. |
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| newly bought flowers |
LITTLE BELLA AT 6 MONTHS OLD
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