十万个为什麼..

Dear lao gong

十万个为什麼 ! tat's what u used to call me .. u even set this song as ur ringtone when i call u .. I know i love to ask many many questions .. tat's y u call me 'a thousand whys' .. sometimes i ask too silly questions until u really dunno wat to say .. tat's y u always call me silly girl .. i know u just love my silliness .. I really want to know why u left me so early? can someone pls tell me the answer ..

yesterday morning, i met mother at home and I went to the bank to open joint account with bella .. mother told me that before bella was born, she had a bad dream. She dreamt that a baby was lost somewhere, with many wolves surrounding her.. she was so afraid that the baby might be Bella.. so she asked me to be extra careful when i'm outside, cos' bella already lost her daddy, she can't lose her mummy too.. Mother was so afraid that u might take me away.. I was really not sure how to reply her.. cos' i really want to see u and i really dun wished to leave Bella here .. it's was really very contradicting..

A lot of images flashes on my mind when i went out yesterday .. i've passed by so many places that we used to go and u used to drive me around... especially the road where u usually drive me back home .. from ur place, to sengkang, to TPE, to SLE then back to my place.. suddenly i felt so lonely to travel alone without u..

Before i was pregnant, we always hang out in pubs and clubs to chill out during the weekends.. but after i was pregnant, most of the time we stay at home.. Home is our favourite hangout place.. U know tat i'm a person who can't stay at a place for long, sometime u will bring me to Hougang mall for walks.. even though it's always the same place, but i dun mind.. i dun mind going anywhere with u ..

I know u dun like to go to town areas, cos' u always said it's very difficult to find parking lots and it's so crowded.. therefore, we have never been to orchard road, marina square or vivocity together.. When we have time during our off days, we will always go for movies.. Usually we will go to Downtown East or Ang mo kio hub for movies cos' u prefer cathay cinemas.. Your favourite movies are horrors show, but i really dun like horror shows cos' i'm a scaredy cat.. but i still watch these movies with u, with my eyes closed. I missed the times when we go for movies during our off days.. I guess i won't be able to do that anymore.. There are so many good movies like Step Up3 and resident evil coming up.. if only u r around, we can watch it together.. Our last movie that we watched in july before i give birth was Twilight Eclipse.. u complained tat this movie is super boring. I agree.. but i still enjoy sitting together with u in the cinema eating popcorns even though the movie sucks.

Mother called me last night, said that she wanted to throw away our hamster .. I've managed to talk to her and asked her not to .. cos' that hamster is our pet that we adopt.. Don't worry, i'll make sure i keep the hamster safe.. cos' i know u liked that hamster a lot.. everytime after work if u have the time, u will play with him .. Hamster is the first pet that we adopt.. cos' we wanted to try out whether we can take care of the small pet before we can keep a dog.. Yup indeed we are able to take care without anyone's help. haizz.. our wish of keeping a dog could not come true anymore..

Bella is 27 days old today .. growing so healthily ... she has grow very fast .. from 47cm long to about 54cm long .. if only u can see and carry her now.

It's  going to be 2 weeks since u've been gone.. i'm still struggling.. trying my best to survive through this hardship. It's really not easy .. the feeling is just like drowning in the deep ocean, waiting for u to come and save me.. I really need a float to survive.. no one can help me.. how i wish u were around to help me..