Dear lao gong
my love for u will never die .. no matter wat happens u will still in my heart.. Just came back from cemetery visiting u . It was nice .. with me singing my birthday song, blowing candles, making wishes and playing songs for u to hear.. i know u can hear my wishes , really hope all these wishes will come true .. I've also help u to arrange the flowers and brought u a colour windmill .. hope u like it ..
later in the evening some friends will be coming over to my house to send me their wishes .. really so nice of them to come visit me ..
haizz.. really feeling tired .. so so tired .. not physically , but mentally.. really hope that u r around with me .. i really need a break .. i want to for a short holiday trip with u to relax .. i want to lay down on the bed with u watching tv .. i want u to be by my side every day .. i want to talk to u on the phone .. i want to receive sweet messages from u .. i want to massage u and help u to relax .. i want to bathe with u , help u scrub ur back like i always do .. i want to lay on ur shoulder and whisper sweet nothings to u .. i want to hold u tight and tell u i love u ..
Lots of my friends wished me happy birthday .. but wat's 'happy' without u around now ? My friends did tell me not to think too much .. it's all fated .. wat's done cannot be undone .. i always tell all these to myself so that i won't feel so painful .. but i still can't .. in my heart i'm still struggling , although i put up a strong front .. but i will try my best .. my very very best , for the sake of Bella .. i have to protect her and shelter her .. i can't lose her .. my life will collapse without her .. thank u once again for giving me Bella.. As wat my friend said, U gave me Bella to keep me strong .. i will try ..
It's really not easy today .. especially today is my birthday .. Birthday should be a happy occasion to celebrate .. I'm still mourning .. No birthday card from u .. no birthday wishes from u .. no birthday kiss from u .. sigh .. how sad ..
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