Unforgettable August 2010

Dear Lao gong

Month of August was the most unforgettable month for me.. First half of the month is full of happiness for us, waiting for the arrival of Bella, celebrating the birth of Bella and showering her with love ..  however second half is full of sadness, the worst nightmare ever .. how contradicting is that? I just feels like being thrown down into the deep valley.. being trapped and lost inside forever..

Yesterday, Bella went for her hep B 2nd jab.. The nurse injected on her left thigh .. she cried loudly, but only for a while. I heard the next door baby crying so loud for about 5 minutes non-stop. But our Bella just cried for a minute and she stopped.. she is indeed a very brave girl. U should be proud of her cos' she has got ur braveness. The nurse did measurements for her ..she has grown .. from day one's 3.08kg to 4.5kg now, length from 47cm to 53cm and head diameter from 35cm to 37.5cm. Some more good news for u.. she can recognise voice now and smile at us .. and she starts to make some hoo and haas .. She's so cute .. Bella really resembles u .. She has got ur eyes, ur lips and the shape of ur face. She also has got long eyelashes like u .. I'm glad that she looks like u cos' u look cuter than me. U must be happy too rite ?

I've called up the towing company to tow away ur motorbike from traffic police as it is ready for collection. The guy told me that he has put ur bike in a motorbike store. After i settled the things from LTA, i will scrap away ur bike. I really hope u don't mind me scraping it. Cos' i don't feel good fixing the bike back and sell it away .. I don't dare to take a look at ur bike too, i'm so afraid that i will break down and cry again. I can't imagine how damage is it. According to the traffic police, they told me that ur bike is really badly damaged. Haizz.. i really feel so painful, not because of the bike, it's because of u ..

This morning.. we've brought Bella to the cemetery to visit u .. It's a rainy morning.. Super heavy rain when we are on our way there. I was thinking tat's it, i won't be able to bring her to ur grave.. But thank god, when we reached there the rain was not too heavy.. Have u seen her ? She has said "Hi daddy, i've come to see u." Bella was sleeping in the car when she's on the way there. But when we reached, she woke up cos' she wanted to see her daddy..  I'm sure u have seen her there .. she is getting prettier and cuter.. That moment when i brought her to ur grave, i nearly cried.. But i managed to hold back my tears cos' i dun wan to let Bella see me cry. Please please protect her and keep her safe.. She is my only reason to survive .. It is the first day of 8th month in the chinese calendar.. I will bring her to visit u again on the 15th cos' it's mooncake festival ..

Still remember the first time we took public transport together .. U said that it's been donkey years since u took bus or train cos' u' r too used to driving a car or a bike. U keep complaining that u dun like to take public transport cos' u felt that it's so troublesome. But after taking public transport with me, u told me that it's not as bad as what u imagine.. U also said that almost everywhere is so accessible by public transport.. U said that we should take public transport more often as u agree that it's not very safe to travel by bike ..

U always said I'm a very low maintenance wife. I eat very little, 2 meals per day, breakfast and early dinner.. Whenever u asked me whether do i have any cravings for some special foods or a particular restaurant. I always say no. Yes it's true that i'm not a food lover. As long as the food is edible and can fill my stomach.. i'm happy. U always said i'm silly.. i guess that's just me and u loved me for what i am..

U have given me so many beautiful memories.. I will never forget .. U have given me a perfect gift .. That's Bella..