I can't stop loving u

Dear lao gong

I can feel that u r still around me. I can feel that whenever i cry, u will cry with me. I really wanted to stop crying, but somehow i just can't. I was so afraid to step in to our room back in Hougang. All the memories at kept there.. We are a very homely couple.. we spend most of our time at home, in our room. I can't stop crying, especially when i see our photos in the room, your clothes, your laptop, our bed, the tv and the stuff in our room.

I just came back home after bringing Bella to mother. I can tell that she loves Bella a lot.. She talked to her and asked Bella whether can she see u. I know Bella can see u. Bella can see daddy talking to her.. I was so afraid to step in to our room just now. I know i will cry. And yes i did, especially when i saw our photos in the room. Mother brought out all your photos taken in ur uniforms with the rest of the army colleagues. U really looked smart in your uniform. U must be proud to serve the country. I opened ur cupboard, just wanted to look at your clothes.. There were so many nice shirts that u wore only once or a few times. I asked u before why u don't wear all these when we go out.. u said that u wanted to wear it on occasions only, so that u won't spoil the clothes. But now, all are left hanging there inside the cupboard. U have new shoes and new belts and new boxers in the room, all brand new.. I really don't know what to do with them, i don't bear to throw all of them away..

I know that u r sad. U r even much sadder than i am. I still have Bella with me. But u r alone somewhere in a far away place without your love ones. I felt lonely, but u r even lonelier than me.. Haizz, wat can we do ??

U love to play games during your free time. Everytime u will play Godfinger and scrabble game in ur Iphone .. at home when u r free, u will play warcraft and mafia wars. I never understand all these games cos' they are not my type of game. U always said i was simple minded, cos i only play simple games. I'm sorry that i can't continue all these games for u as i really don't understand these games..

It's gonna be a month since u were gone.. I'm not sure how i struggled but i still manage to survive till today. Must be u, giving me the strength to hold on till now.. Still remember on saturdays we will find time to watch soccer games cos' soccer is my favourite. I know u dun support any team.. Whenever i support my Liverpool, u will support me even though u said the team is weak. Without u around, i dun watched soccer .. even though i'm a die hard Liverpool fan and supported them for 15yrs.. I have no mood to watch soccer anymore.. Not sure why, maybe things just can't be done without u.

I really wanted a happy family.. With u , with bella and maybe another baby boy or girl to keep bella company. I really feel so sad .. Our family is never complete.. We are so far apart now and we won't be able to see u anymore.. But our love still stays strong.. I can't stop loving u..