Dear lao gong
Happy mooncake festival to u .. It's the mid autumn fest today, a day of joy and family reunion.. If u were around, we should be at East Coast Park by now and admiring the big round moon.. Since the day u left, I will feel extremely sad during ocassions. Still remember last time we always celebrate every ocassions .. from new yr to chinese new yr to rice dumpling fest to anniversary to mid autumn fest to our birthdays to hari raya to deepavali to christmas .. so many ocassions that we used to celebrate when we were around. But now, happy ocassions seem lonely to me ..
This morning i lost my cool and quarrelled with aunt .. It was because i have already told her last week that i'm bringing Bella to visit u at the cemetery today as it is mid autumn fest .. She don't allow me to bring her to the cemetery cos' she said it's not very good to keep bringing baby to this place.. In the end she has no choice but to give in to me .. I'm so glad that we have a family gathering at the cemetery with u .. I'm sure u saw Bella right? Isn't she cute? She is growing bigger and bigger each day .. Did u see Bella smile when i brought her to ur grave? It was a beautiful smile from Bella.. Bella really smiled at u when i told her that daddy is here. She really missed her daddy .. She must have felt her daddy's presence there if not she wouldn't have smiled..
This evening my buddy told me something which is indeed very meaningful.. He said that there is 4 parts to happiness .. 1st is marriage (love), 2nd is health, 3rd is family and 4th is friends .. He said that even though i've lost my only love.. there is still 75% of happiness in my life.. I still have my health, family and friends.. He said that losing 25% is not a big deal cos' i still have more than 50% left .. Ya i agree it's true.. i still have my 75% and i should cherish as much as possible.. I will cherish them .. Losing u is really hard for me to accept cos' u r so dear to me .. My buddy is always worried for me whenever he read my blog. He always tell me to 'see open' and accept the fact that u r gone. I am, trying very hard to stand back up again.. please give me the strength to do so..
My uncle once told me that there is a friend of his who lost his wife after a battle with cancer.. He loved his wife a lot .. when she passed away, he will drive to her grave every morning to see her and put a rose on her tomb.. He did the same thing for 100days.. how romantic is this guy .. he really loved his wife a lot to do that for her everyday.. I really wished i could do that for u, to visit u everyday at the grave and talked to u. But my family said that it's dangerous to go to the cemetery alone as it's too quiet. Therefore i have make it a point to visit u once every week to talk to u.. I have been keeping to my promised, I hope u won't feel too lonely there as i only can visit u once a week.. really hope u can understand..
Lao gong, i really love u .. I know that sometimes u have unhappy things in ur mind, u refused to share with me cos' u don't want me to worry .. If there is anything that i've done in the past that hurt u , I sincerely apologise to u .. I might be insensitive sometimes and doesn't care about your feelings... I'm sorry, i didn't do that on purpose.. Please do remember this .. U r my one and only love .. U r always the greatest hubby in my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment