Dear lao gong
How r u doing up there in heaven? Hope u r fine .. Many people said that heaven is a place free of sufferings and pain. I really hope it is true .. It's really so hard to accept the truth that u r gone. I still have the feeling that u r around with me, looking at us.. We r in different worlds.. I will not be able to see u and talk to u anymore. I know u want to talk to me, want to explain to me what happened that night and want to apologise. I really want to hear from u .. can u talk to me ?
Ur ex classmate told me that she dreamed of u in the morning yesterday. u told her that u were beaten up by ur dad .. Ur dad was so angry with u for being careless that cost your life.. I guess u must have found ur dad in heaven .. Her dream was so weird and scary, u found friends in heaven too .. i shall not elaborate more ..
I know u don't believe in fortune-tellers.. U said that there won't be anyone so powerful in the world to know your future and past lives.. But due to the misfortunate things that has happened to us, i got to go for one Master. I'm sorry i know u will be angry with me, but i have to. Ur ex classmate went to JB yesterday. I've given her my 8 character together with Bella's. She passed the 8 characters to the Master to do some calaculation. Indeed, the results were very bad, real bad .. I won't be telling u cos' i know u are not interested to know and won't believe in that. I will make a trip down to JB to see the Master and to see what i can do to prevent things from happening. I'm sorry but i really have to, for Bella's sake... Please don't be angry with me.
Yesterday, I went out with Henry, Alvin and May to Secret Garden at Serangoon Garden. Still remember i brought u there once with Henry and Alvin last year? I felt very different there without u.. I really miss the days when we go to KTV, when we fight for the microphone, criticise each others songs, eject the song when we sing half way.. I know we are childish but we really had fun.. U r a good singer.. I love to hear u sing.
My confinement has ended .. I know u will be very happy as we can go out for walks and find good food around singapore.. I can also stay up late nights with u and spend more time with u. We can do the things we like and we used to do. We can bring Bella out and take care of Bella together. We can go for midnight movies, hangout in pubs, go for walk in beaches and go swimming together. I know it is a wish that can never be fulfilled, but i still hope that it can come true..
I'm still struggling, trying my best to accept the truth.. keeping myself busy with Bella so that I won't be sad .. but whenever i see Bella, i will think of u .. it's so difficult not to be sad .. i guess i'm bad in controlling my emotions. I'm deeply hurt .. the scar will be in my heart forever .
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