幸福的小女人

Dear lao gong

U always said that u will make me your 幸福的小女人.. Yup no deny.. U really make me feel like one.. I'm really thankful for all the love and care you have given me.. I know u have some very personal things that u wouldn't want to share with me.. cos' u don't want me to worry for u.. I understand and i will not blame u. Thank u for giving me the sense of security that no one has ever given me before.. I will never forget u my dear. And if u can, please remember me always..

Many people have given me encouragement and hope that i can stand back up again.. I'm so afraid that i will disappoint everyone. I really have no confident.. I'm feeling so pressurized by the people around me.I can't breathe. I know they meant well and do not want to see me so down thinking of u day and night. I really can't stop thinking, maybe i just love u too much. I've tried to keep myself busy at home and asking my friends out for dinners and coffees.. But whenever i go out or whatever i do, i still think of u. Whenever i go out to places that we have been to, i will feel sad. Whenever i eat the food that we used to love, i will feel sad. Whenever i do the things that we used to do, i feel even sadder. I really don't know what to do..

I know my blog has always been so negative and always make readers feels sad. I really wish i can write a more positive one someday. I used to be a cheerful and positive person. I always believe that there are solutions to all problems. But i have this problem of missing u , which i could not find any solutions at all.. I admit that i am a crying baby. I will cry to every little thing that makes me feel sad. U know i am a big time crying baby cos' most of the time i will cry in front of u , not because u make me sad , but are all the sad movies and sad things that happened around us. I always lend me your shoulders to cry on and wipe away my tears.. But now, u can't do that anymore. I only can cry alone..

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" -(A line from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "In Memoriam A. H. H.")  this is indeed a very meaningful phrase , at least this is what i feel.. Love is such an important experience that even the pain of losing someone you love is better than not having loved that person. It's painful, no words can really describe how i feel..