Yesterday i brought Bella back home to mother .. As promised , i'll make it a point to bring her back every weekend so that she won't be bored.. Today Bella was awake the whole afternoon and she had a great time playing with her .. i'm so glad to see the smile on her face again.. However, she said some stuff to Bella which really hurts me .. like a thousand arrows hitting into my heart .. she keep asking Bella "where is daddy?" "daddy is not around to see u anymore", "u r so cute and yet daddy can't see u", "daddy can't sayang u anymore", "daddy has already changed to a better man, but too bad he is not here anymore" .. all these words are so hurtful to me when i heard her say. I don't blame mother for saying all these to Bella , cos' she won't understand either. I know deep in her heart, she felt really upset to lose such a good son.
Mother and I had a long chat yesterday .. talking about ur past , how u turn from good to bad and to good again , how u treated mother , how are your past relationships .. Mother has quite a good impression of Miss P,a brief 3 mths relationship between u and her and suddenly one fine day just ended. Mother said she is a fine teacher and a very decent girl. But she is not sure y u totally ignored her one day. She said that Miss P loved u a lot .. but really don't understand why u behave this way .. anyway i've told mother u must have your own reasons for doing that. Yup she agreed, cos' relationship thingy is really complicated sometimes. However, mother has a very bad impression of ur ex gf before Miss P.. I shall not elaborate as u should know why .. She really doesn't like Miss Y very much due to her bad habits and influence. I just tell her that Love is Blind . Mother said that u totally changed to another person after u know me , u have try ur best to stop ur bad habits and she was quite impressed with what u did. She asked me what have i done to u, I just tell her that u changed for the better , but not for me , it's for ur own good.
You are always treated like a king at home.. The moment u reached home, u throw ur clothes on the floor , mother will pick it up and wash for u , mother will prepare dinner for u , mother will clean the room for u , mother will pay ur monthly bills for u . We are both fortunate children . My aunt did the same thing for me .. Therefore most of the time we will be at either of our homes for our dinner. Yup it's true, we love home cook food, esp. the food prepare by mother or my aunt. They will always prepare the best things for us. U always complain saying that y didn't i learn cooking , i always have the excuse saying that everyday we have homecook meals prepared by our parents , so don't need to learn cooking for the time being. Sorry for being lazy , i should have learn cooking earlier so at least u can try my cooking for once. Sometimes, when u r in the mood to prepare food, u will. Then i will be by your side taking the role of ur helper. We have prepared spaghetti , prata sausages, garlic bread, mushroom soups, wedges, nuggets and instant noodles before in your kitchen. And during Chinese new year this year, we have prepared a romantic steamboat dinner at your place, just the 2 of us.. Even though it's just a simple steamboat dinner prepared by us, it was very sweet. I will never forget that moment.
I still remember that the first night we met, i went to ur place to stayover with a group of friends.. It was really enjoyable. I guess we are fated to meet on Good Friday last year. After that night, we practically met up almost everyday. U will always come pick me up after work and we spend time together and have fun. On the 2nd week, u wanted to introduce me to ur mum as ur gf. At first, i hesitated. I felt that it was too fast to do that. But u insisted, so i guess i have no choice. From then on, we will always go back to ur place to have homecooked dinners after work. Mother was so happy that u go back home for dinner almost everyday.. What a wonderful feeling.. But i guess happy moments are always so short..
Mother said that she wants to give me some money when she gets her salary every month. I tried rejcting her many times, telling and assuring her that my monthly salary is enough to support Bella. But she insisted saying that u r gone, she should give me some money for the baby.. Anyway not to worry, i will keep the money aside for the time being and won't use it.. I know that she has good intentions, i keep telling her to keep the money for her own use. But she said a very sad thing, she said that she is old, no point keeping the money for herself. I really felt so sad after hearing what she said.. I'm sorry, i am really not sure how to reply her ..
Just saw a friend of mine posting this on her facebook :
"遇上一個人，只需一分鐘；喜歡一個人，只需一刻鐘；愛上一個人，只需一小時；但要忘了一個人，卻要一生"
It's true .. one really need a lifetime to forget a person, especially that very beloved that she once loved. What is love ? Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.. Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
I've posted our wedding photoshoot in my facebook .. That time i was 4 months pregnant .. taking these photoshoots were really tiring and i still have to go back to work in the evening till midnight that day .. Everything was so rush . I still remember u were so angry with the photographer who is a butch. She kept giving me a lot of her attention and totally ignored u. U were so jealous and said that she was interested in me.. tat was so funny , u r indeed a very possessive person, but it's ok , i like the way u r ..
Hmm.. seems like my blog today is not as sad as before .. I'm trying my best to be as positive as i could. Cos' to affect people around me and make them cry everytime they read my blog really makes me feel bad.. But deep in my heart , i still feel sad .. still as sad as before .. still thinking of u and the scene that day still haunting me..
Nice song & movie that we both loved..
Nice song & movie that we both loved..
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