Can't stop thinking about u

Dear lao gong

I always tell myself, in order for me to stop crying, i have to stop thinking about u. Cos' whenever i think of u, tears will automatically flow down from my face. No matter how hard i control, i still cry.. Every minute, every hour, everyday i will think of u.. i will think of the fun moments we had, sweet memories we shared and how well u have treated me..

We seldom quarrel.. U told me before that u used to quarrel with ur ex gfs over very minor matters.. I told u i did tat too, in the past i used to quarrel with my ex bfs almost every week. I know that u r the right guy for me, so i've told myself to be a understanding person and minimize quarrels in our relationship. I've also tell myself that i've grown up, i shouldn't be so childish anymore.. Due to ur job scope, u r hot-tempered.. I know u tried ur best to treat me well and be a understanding person.. Lao gong, u really did it. U always talk to me in a soft tone and whenever we have disagreement, we will sit down and solve the problem. We won't shout at each other like we did in our past relationships. Ur mum is also quite surprised that u have treated me so nice and never shouted at me before cos' in the past, she always witness u quarreling with ur ex gfs and shouted at them fiercely.. u indeed have changed for me.. u knew tat i am the right person for u and u really cherished me..

U still have some clothes in my cupboard.. everyday i would open the cupboard and touch ur clothes.. I really missed u .. ur smell , ur touch , ur kiss .. things just happens too fast .. it seemed like yesterday u r standing in front of me and today u r gone ..

As usual, i still have the habit to check my hp everytime i'm free.. usually when u have the time, u will send me sms or mms .. when i'm free i will do tat too.. u always said i'm a workaholic.. whenever i'm at work, i will totally ignore u. I didn't mean to do that on purpose, due to my job scope, i need to do tat, really hope u can understand this. U r always worried for me tat i overworked and did not take my meals.. therefore u always sms me to remind me to eat first before i work. But now, i always stare at my hp, waiting for u to send me these smses, even though i know i will never receive them again. I feel so empty .. No one can help me, except u.. i really miss ur sweet lovely smses.. u never failed to call me lao po, dear or darling in all ur smses .. that was really sweet. Everyday , when i got the time after taking care of Bella, i will open my inbox in my handphone and read through all the smses u have sent me from day one that we met till the last sms u've sent me on 15 august.. loads of memories flash through my mind everytime i read them. Memories through our courtship, relationship and then marriage.. though it's only a short 15 months, all these memories will be kept in my heart...
My buddy, Henry, and my good friend Alvin are planning to bring me to Bangkok in october for a short trip to help me relax my mind before i go back to work. They knew that i wanted a holiday badly to relax after i give birth. Still remember 3 weeks ago we are still discussing whether we should go Taiwan or Bangkok in December when u clear ur leave, I was so excited cos' i'm really desperate for a holiday trip with u so that we can spend some quality time together .. Going holiday with Henry and Alvin every year is fun too .. but the feeling is different if i go on a trip with u .. should i go ? will my mood really gets better after the trip ?

Here's bella.. 27days old .. isn't she cute? really wished that u could see how cute she is .. I know u really wish to touch her, kiss her, carry her and talk to her.. Bella misses her daddy so much..