Cherish ..

Dear lao gong

Bella is 2 months and a day old .. everyone said that she is cute and very chubby .. Most important thing is that she is growing healthily . I really hope that she will grow up faster .. Yesterday we went over to visit mother .. she cooked for us to eat .. All your favourite food.. vegetables , fish and fried prawns. All so yummy .. i really missed her cooking and missed the times that we always have dinners at home .. U will always take the food from the plates and put it onto my bowl so that i will eat more .. Now, there is no more chance for u to taste ur mum's home cook meals and have your favourite food .. how r u  feeling ? always keeps me wondering.. I was so worried for u, can u feel it? The thought of u always makes me tear ..

Mother keeps telling me that last time when u were around, she will wait for u to come back from work in the living room .. she said that u will always reach home around 6 to 7pm after work then she will make dinner for u. I can tell that she is still very sad. She said that now she can't cook for u anymore , now, she seldom cook at home .. Mother always tell me a lot of things about u whenever i visited her. She really loves u and worries for u the most. She keep repeating to me saying that because of me, u've changed for the better. U have stopped your bad habits and trying your best to save up for our future. She is so happy to see u change to a better man , but she is heartbroken that God did not give u a chance to change for the better and stay here with us.

Mother taught me an important lesson, that is to CHERISH. She taught me to cherish the family members, relatives and friends around us before it is too late. She taught me not to complain when things are not going smoothly. She taught me that everyone around us are gifts from God , we should always treasure them . She taught me to treasure the times we had with the people around us . Only if we cherish, then we will not regret next time when they are not around with us. Your departure has really teach us a big big lesson, a lesson that everyone will learn .

Mother told me a lot of things about your 3 brothers and the hardship she has been through in the past. It is really hard for a woman to bring up 4 children .. She is a real strong woman. I know that she always wanted "this day" to come. "This day" when she won't have to worry for all her children .. "This day" when she can enjoy her times with her children and grandchildren .. "This day" where she can relax at home and don't need to worry about anything. I can feel how she feel and i can feel her loss .. i really hope that her "this day" will come soon ..  She always tells me that she is old and she is not sure how long can she work , but she will work as long as she still can.. She led a hard life.. I hope one day she can enjoy her life .. I will try my best to do what i can for her ..

I've always been trying to keep myself busy .. diverting my attention to think of u .. These few weeks i have been giving all my attention to Bella, going out with friends for meals and drinks and going to the hospital to visit my aunt. I agree that keeping myself busy really makes me feel much better. However, there is always a quiet time of the day that i will think of u .. I'm not sure whether i am getting better, but i still cry whenever i think of u .. I really hope that i will become stronger than yesterday ..

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." I totally agree to this statement.. I know that no one will live forever.. everyone got to leave this world one day. It is just a matter of time. I never thought u will be gone so soon . I thought we will walk together for at least another 20 to 30 years. The scar in my heart will never be healed.. Wound can always be healed by time , but not the scar.. Love is always the sweetest thing, but if love one is gone, it is the most hurtful thing in the world.. all i have now is memories of u .. Lao gong, memories of u will be kept safe in my heart.

To all the peeps out there .. please please cherish your love ones .. before it is too late ...