节哀顺变 , 知易行难

Dear lao gong

Saw this phrase on newspaper yesterday "节哀顺变 , 知易行行" .. by Mr Lee Kuan Yew.. A very meaningful phrase..  Loads of people have given him this 4 letter word, 节哀顺变, to Mr Lee .. meaning to restrain his grief. However this is 知易行难 , it means it's easy to say than done.. Yup it's true , i totally understand Mr Lee's feeling now. Though my love might not be as deep as Mr Lee to Mrs Lee as they have been husband and wife for more than 60yrs , but i felt the pain that he is feeling now. It is never easy to lose our beloved ones. Mr Lee and Mrs Lee are much more luckier than us .. they have supported each other for 63 years, they should feel contented .. i really envy them and their love.

Went to cemetery to visit u yesterday together with May and your ex schoolmate , Wenwei. He just knew u were gone recently through another classmate. He was very shocked and saddened about the news that u were gone. He told me that u guys just meet up recently for swimming.. He has a cute baby girl too , and coincidentally , his girl's name is Bella too .. It would be so nice that u were around .. We can bring out baby girl out to meet our friends , have meals with our families and even have our family photoshoot together. Time was just too short.. God didn't give us time to do all these stuff with you. I always longed to do these things with u when we are married, but i won't come true anymore .. how unfair is life ..

Still remember i told u before when i was young during a routine checkup, i was found out to have a small hole in my heart which caused irregular heartbeat ? U must have remember cos' sometimes i will experience sharp pain in my heart .. During primary school times, i went to the hospital for checks for my heart. But a year later after some tests and scanning, doctor said that i should not have any problem when i grow up as the hole is very tiny and will mend by itself as i grow older. He said that i might experience some sharp pain once in a while, but it is nothing serious.. But after i was pregnant, this problem seemed to go off .. i didn't experience any pain in my heart during my pregnancy days .. but yesterday, while i was paying my bills at the AXS machine.. i felt this sharp pain again.. it lasted for about 5 minutes.. hmm.. still felt slight pain just now in the afternoon .. not sure what's happening , but hope it's nothing serious ..

This afternoon, i went to visit my aunt with my buddy .. she has been transferred to normal ward. It's a good news. She seemed a bit better today .. hope she can get well soon. Uncle told me that if her condition continues to improve, she can be discharged next week. She is still so caring when she is sick , always ask me how is Bella everytime i visit her .. such a nice lady , should have a long good life .. really hope God can be fairer to her ..

I went to 2 places today which reminded me of u .. Firstly, In the late afternoon, i went to Bakerzin .. have my favourite cheesecake and earl grey tea .. This is the thing we used to do once in a while .. to enjoy a relaxed afternoon and having my favourite food and drink.. U said to me before that u love doing my favourite things with me , spending time with me and talking nonsense throughout the whole afternoon and during the evening, we will have dinner and watch a movie after that.. Secondly, In the late evening after dinner, i went to NTUC near my home to buy  pampers for Bella .. yup NTUC, whenever we had dinners at my place, we always go down to NTUC for a walk to just enjoy the free air-con and buy titbits or desserts ..  haizz.. really missed the happy days that we shared ..

Just watched the news on Mrs Lee's funeral .. just felt so sad .. especially the part where Mr Lee talked about Mrs Lee .. the most touching part is when Mr Lee gave her a goodbye kiss before she is brought to the Boon Lay .. i suddenly felt so sad .. makes me think of u and makes me weep ..

Life is always full of ups and downs .. Seeing what happen to my aunt and Mr Lee really makes me understand that life is just too fragile . I guess now everyone should  "Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come"