Pursuit of Happiness

Dear lao gong

Happiness .. is what i yearned for all my life. It is a thing money can't buy. I'm sure u'll feel the same way too.. Happiness to me is very simple. To lead a simple life with u and our baby girl. With your departure, happiness will never be complete for me. What can i do ? I guess i still have to continue to walk on without u by my side. It is such a scary thing to do.. No guidance , no discussions , but just me alone .. I feel so small in this world .. U've really given be a lot of security which no one has ever given me before. Since now u r gone, it's my turn to give this security to our baby..

I'm a poor decision maker .. Most of the time you are the one who will make decisions .. Now i got to learn to make wise decisions .. I hope I can be a good decision maker for both me and Bella . Do forgive me if i didn't make a wise decision as i've already tried my very best .

It's my turn to fall sick .. Got very bad sore throat for the past 2 days. Today i've lost half of my voice and i sounded like a man when i talk .. must be due to the weather. Been drinking lots of water , hope i will get well soon ..

Today is my off day .. Got to work full shift tomorrow .. So i brought Bella back to mother's place this morning .. Bella is getting better. Flu is off , but still have cough due to her phlegm .. I've mixed soy powder and milk powder for her . However, her phlegm is still not getting better .. I will continue to monitor her condition for the next few days ...

Mother took MC yesterday. She said that her right leg was very painful and she couldn't walk .. She went polyclinic to see a doctor yesterday morning.. Doctor advised her to see a specialist for a detail check on her leg .. She told me that she don't want to see specialist as she is afraid that she might need to go for leg operation as advised by the doctor at the polyclinic.. I've talked to her about the consequences and told her that it's better for her to see a specialist .. But she still refused .. She said that she will see when she really needs to see . I've already tried my best to persuade her, but still in vain. I'm sorry my dear..

Many of my friends told me to be brave and i'm trying to be .. as best as i can . I'm still not used to living without u. But i still have to, for the sake of our baby. I guess what i can do now is to keep myself as busy as i can to minimise my pain .. One of your friend said  "时间可以冲淡，但不可能忘记" . Yup it's true .. time can slowly minimise the pain in me, but it is impossible to 100% heal me by totally forgetting u. You will always live inside me. And i will always love u , till the day i die...