The 3rd month

Dear lao gong

It's the 3rd month since u were gone .. still haven't been able to hold myself up well.. the thought of u always makes me cry .. I'm still learning to be strong. It is really so tough .. How i wish i'm like u , free from worries and pain . But i couldn't leave just yet, cos' i got a uncomplete mission ..

Went for my 3rd driving lesson yesterday morning .. really shaky when i drove on the 'real road' .. the instructor said that how come i can control so well in the circuit , but at the road i forgotten everything .. i even panic while i change gear .. he kept on telling me not to worry so much and just relax and take my time , but everytime i will still panic and forgot some important steps. I nearly knocked down a motorcyclist as he drove by me at high speed, cos' when i checked the mirrors and blindspot , everything was clear , when i drove to another lane, he suddenly dashed out from nowhere .. luckily the instructor stepped the brakes on time .. if not , i would have knocked him down .. after the lesson , both my legs were weak .. guess i was not brave enough to drive on the real road .. I think i have coordination problem too , can't change gear and turn at the same time .. hope i will be better after a few more lessons ...

Yesterday was the day i signed the lease for our new home and paid 5% of the downpayment which is about $18k .. paid off everything by CPF as there were enough in my CPF account . Our new home will be ready in about 3 years time .. The customer service lady told me that i can monitor the process of our flat by logging in to the HDB website.. The next time i will go to HDB hub will be the time i collect the key for our new home. So now, i will start to look for home and decoration magazines to check out on the different designs for our flats. When u were around, u were always so excited about our flat and said that u wanted to design the flat on our own. But u were gone, I will have to do this on my own. Looking our for design that we like and most importantly , to set aside a budget to work on. Not to worry , i'm sure i will do a good job. Cos' this is one of your biggest wish .. A home sweet home for our family.