My maternity leave

Dear lao gong

4 months maternity leave are supposed to be a busy yet happy time for me .. I should be enjoying motherhood and we , building bond with our baby ... well..  that's not the case for me. I was so looking forward to my maternity leave before our baby girl arrives in this world. These 4 months were supposed to be so precious for me .. being away from work and staying home just to take care of baby and you .

But i felt extremely sad and devastated during these 4 months. Since u were gone, nothing seems right . We yearned to have a complete family with our baby girl's arrival .. but it will never be complete without u . Instead, i've spent the past 3 months mourning and grieving ..

Counting down the days to go back to work .. 13 more days .. I guess i will miss Bella a lot when i go back to work cos' i won't be able to spend so much time with her .. I have to work 2 full shifts out of my 5 day work week.. 12 to 13 hours for a full shift for 2 days in a week .. which means i won't get to see Bella 2 days a week cos' before i go for work in the morning she will be sleeping and when i reached back home from work at night she will be sleeping too .. Time is so precious .. If u were around , u will be able to spend time with her everyday cos' u r on office hours ..

Tomorrow i will bring Bella to polyclinic at 10.40am for her immunization .. I've signed up a package with the polyclinic for her immunizations from her 1st month till 2 years old .. total cost is about $500 .. There are a few different packages of jabs for babies .. but i chose the most expensive packages to cover her for all the relevant diseases and viruses  .. I felt that it's good for her cos' i felt safer if she's immuned to the various dangerous viruses which might affect her health. Afterall , prevention is better than cure.

In the meantime , i am also looking out for childcare centre for Bella cos' i intend to put her to there to learn some stuff and interact with the rest when she turns 2 years old. A lot of my friends told me it's time for me to look out first and book for a placing . I thought it's too early but they said that the time she is 18mths old and i wanted to sign up for her, all the childcare centres will be full. So , my friends suggest that i should book a place for her when she is 1 year old ... Hmm... i guess i shall heed to their advices cos' they are experienced daddys and mommys . Hope u don't think that i'm too kiasu ..