My mood

Dear lao gong

It's the holiday season .. 2 more days to christmas .. everybody around me are in joyous mood and counting down to christmas .. I'm sure if u were around , we will be looking forward to christmas. A season to share joy and happiness. Well, in fact , i was so not looking forward to christmas. Holiday seasons seem extremely sad to me. It will always remind me of the happy times we've once had .. I really envy couples and families that can celebrate and enjoy holidays together. When u left , u have taken away a big part of my happiness in life.

Still feeling emotionally unwell .. I thought i'm getting better. Maybe it's christmas that makes me feel this way. I'm feeling so tired to cry when i think of u everyday. I really wish i can stop. But i still can't..

I guess i've did quite a good job in putting a strong front to everybody. I got to learn to be strong cos' Bella has only mummy to depend on now, and of cos, with daddy watching over her from up above..

Today is my off day .. Went for 4 hours of driving lessons .. Pretty tiring , especially my legs .. Lessons are getting tougher as now i'm learning how to reverse , doing 3 point turn , turning into crank course and much more.. Need good balancing of clutch , brake and accelerator .. Now i know driving is not that easy after all ..

I've always miss Bella a lot whenever i'm not with her.. everyday when i finished work , i will always rush back home to see her and take care of her. I guess this is call motherhood .. And i will do what it takes to make sure she grows up well. I never expect anything in return , I just want her to be happy always . That is the only mission in my life . And i will complete it before i can rest in peace.