Dear lao gong
today it's the 2nd day of the rabbit year.. gone are the sad sad tiger year .. hope rabbit year will be better.. though it won't be perfect without u around.
Eve of CNY , after ending my work at 6pm, i rushed to mother's place for our reunion dinner at home. Everybody were there .. mother prepared lots of nice dishes.. there were your favourite fried prawns, chicken , duck , abalone , fish and crabs. All were so nice .. However, i can feel that everybody was sad without u around. Especially mother .. Though i was enjoying mother's cooking , but my heart was bleeding real bad. I really envy first , 2nd and 3rd brother having dinner with their wives and children. As for me, i was eating alone by myself, without u sitting beside me. Tears nearly dropped, i managed to control it well . After dinner, everyone left at about 9 plus and first brother went to work with his wife. Having seeing mother was alone at home, i decided to sit with her and accompany her for a while before i go home to take care of Bella. We had a long chat .. we chatted about our families .. I reached back home just before midnight .
First day of CNY , we went to mother's place after Bella took her morning nap .. I dressed her up in pink cheongsam .. she looks really pretty and cute. Mother's face immediately lighted up with smile the moment she saw Bella... She showed me pictures of u when u were a baby .. Bella really looked like u when u were young .. We left at about 5pm to my aunt house at woodlands .. Bella was so tired that she felt asleep in my arms after finishing her milk in the evening . Our little angel really loves the crowd. She smiles at all our relatives whenever she sees them . I was so afraid that bella might be afraid when she sees so many people around .. but she's not .. she is a real friendly baby .. Bella is a rich little baby now .. she has collected loads of ang pows from everybody . I shall deposit the money into her bank account after CNY is over ..
I can still remember last year , Bella was just about 3 months old in my stomach when we celebrated CNY .. We were both in joyous mood celebrating the new year and planning for our wedding .. I really miss ur presence .. I miss everything about u . Every night I will think of u before i sleep.. and i will still cry . I'm really not sure whether will i stop crying one day . it's really difficult .. especially when i see happy families around celebrating the holiday seasons and i'm just alone with Bella. I really envy happy families.. And i really hate myself for not having a complete family. Why is that so ? And why is it so unfair ?
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