Half a year

My dearest ..

16 Feb today .. it's been half a year since u were gone .. How time flies .. felt pretty scary .. sorry i haven't been writing these few days as i was struggling to stop myself from switching on the computer and look at facebook.. I hate to read up facebook these few days as 2 days ago was Valentine's day .. I'm sure many of my friends in facebook will post lovey dovey notes for their beloved ones and putting up pictures of their gifts and how they spent their valentine's day .. I'm jealous .. real jealous .. Why couldn't i celebrate with u .. ?? It's just not fair at all !! I really hate ocassions .. big big time !!

It's really nice of your friend, May .. she fetched me to the cemetery on Valentine's day to visit u in the afternoon .. scorching hot sun , we've stayed and chit chatted with u for a while .. I missed u .. and really wished u were here with me to celebrate valentine's day for the rest of our lives .. she has sent me back in the late afternoon and for the rest of the day .. i was feeling really down. However, in the evening, a friend called me out for dinner after his work as he knew that i'm feeling down .. We went chomp chomp for late dinner .. I had all my favourite food , just felt slightly better .. but still , it will be perfect with u around. Really wanted to thank him for making my night a bit better ..

Yesterday at work, i had a long conversation with my buddy .. As usual, my buddy knew that i was feeling down. He asked me 3 questions , if I were the one who leave this world and you are the survivor with Bella .. God prepared a contract and i was requested to make a decision and sign it :
1) Will i want u to join me in 21 years time after Bella can take care of herself or would i want u to continue living to ripe old age and enjoy my life to the fullest ..
2) Will i want u to stay widowed for life , find a partner , or get another wife if a good person comes by ..
3) Will i want u to stay happy or want u to be sad for the rest of your life ?
Buddy told me that whatever my answer is to these 3 questions, will also be the same as u ...
These 3 questions really makes me think, what i really want for myself ..

The love that u've given to me was the greatest .. i truely appreciate what u have given me . I will never forget u my dear . U will always be in my heart ..