Ended work at 3.30pm today and went to hospital to see dad. 现在就座在他旁边!
刚才走进病房,看着爸爸忧愁的脸。好伤心。爸爸又好像痩了一圈。我问爸爸吃得下吗,睡的着吗。爸爸说吃的下,可是没用,吃了还是瘦下去。爸爸说天天早上 4am 就 draw blood. After drawing blood, he cant sleep. So he went down 6am to have breakfast at canteen.
Dad is depressed. 他很担心。。他告诉我说做化疗也没用。最候还是会死。我忽然间停了一下。。我真的不知道应该怎么回答他。我只是说,至少病情不会恶化。爸爸一直说会活不到一年。我听了,眼泪差点流下来。还好I manage to swallow it down.
爸爸在医院住了六天。一定很闷。没电视看。天天对着病房里的五个病人,几个missy小姐。。不然就是看着天花板daydream. He really wish he could discharge soon. Doctor say if his jaundice level continue to go lower and not so yellowish , he can discharge in another 4 to 5 days.
天天没事情做。。呆呆的望着天花板。。一定会胡思乱想。我告诉自己,在怎么忙,天天都要来 hospital visit 他。要不然,以候要看见他,真的没机会了。
Dad made a fren next bed to him. A retiree uncle. For past 4 days both of them cant sleep. They will chat through the night and morning will go breakfast together. Today uncle discharged. He tell me later at night no one chat with him liao.
Dad has a colleague visiting him now while I blog. He tell him he worry the pain at the last few days of his life when 癌细胞扩散。haiz.. 我真的不知道该怎么样帮他。I feel so helpless!!!!你可以告诉我应该怎么做吗???
I really want to know .. if a person know hes dying soon. How will he feel and what will he do? I really dunno if I can take it if doctor tell me my days r numbered. 每个人都会死。。死亡真的是那么恐怖吗?
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