Freaking tired !!

Dear lao gong

Seems that time is not enough for me everyday .. every seconds, minutes and hours passes by so quickly .. sorry for not writing for so long . I've been real busy with work and Bella everyday. I'm feeling real tired too .. Have been working for 36 hours for the past 3 days. Finally off today. Hmm.. really not sure whether am i getting old or i'm just too busy with my life. I can really feel the tiredness in me.. Everyday i have to wake up around 5 plus in the morning no matter how late i slept the night before as Bella will be awake at 5.30am without fail.. During days when i'm not working or when i worked half shifts, i will be taking over the job from my aunt to take care of Bella so that she can get some rest. I'm not complaining, i really enjoyed my times with Bella whenever i'm with her. I just feel that time is passing so fast. U were gone for more than 9 months and Bella is turning 10 months soon.

Finally got the time to visit u after so long. This morning, May and I went to visit u .. I've cleared up the discoloured flowers for u. I've chatted with u for a while, hope u can hear what i said. I've also found a little card at your tomb. It was wrapped with a plastic wrapper. At first, i thought it was a piece of rubbish. When i picked up and took a closer look, i saw "for vincent's wife". The card was pretty damage . Must be there for quite sometime. When i opened the plastic wrapper to see what's the note inside, the envelope was torn as it was wet. Really not sure who is the person who wrote this note for me. It must be a friend of yours. Whoever he or she is, I wanted to say thank you to him or her for the encouragement. Here's the card that i've found

I haven't been visiting mother for the past 2 weeks as i was working on Sundays and other days she was not free. However, i did call her sometimes to talk to her and check whether she is alright. Mother has been feeling real remorsely recently. She told me that she regretted not bringing u to church when u r young . She said she should make it a habit so that as u grow older, u will visit the church every weekend. She keeps thinking that it's her fault now cos' she believes a lot in God. She felt that God might be able to save you from this accident if u were to stay devoted to him. I kept telling mother that it's not her fault. Everything is fated. We have no control over fate. We gotta learn to accept what it is now.. I know it easy to say than done. Mother is still staying strong, and i really salute her for her braveness. Mother told me that she will be going for a day tour this coming sunday with her church friends. It's good to see her hanging out with friends when she's free cos' she really worries me if she stays home during the weekend and keeps thinking about u.

"Trying my best to survive" is the thing i gotta do now . It's not for any other people but just for the sake of Bella. I envy u so much .. Now living in the world free from pain and worries. How i wish i can join u ... But for Bella, i can't. And i'm sure u doesn't want me to join u either. I hope that u will wait for me .. when the time is right, please wait for me at the other side of the world.. U r the only one that i want to meet after i breath my last breathe..