"see open"

Dear lao gong

Worked half shift today.. was on morning shift.. after work i brought dinner home for aunt and myself .. Bella's timetable is pretty routine now. Wakes up at 5.30am , drinks her milk at 6am , wash up at 7am , cartoon on tv from 7.30am , morning nap at 8.30am , wakes at 10am , porridge at 11am , playtime at 11.30am , afternoon nap from 1 to 3pm , bathe at 3.30pm , milk at 4pm , play till 6.30pm then have her milk again, sleeps at 7.30pm till the next morning .. Very active and noisy . She loves the crowd. And she loves shopping. Sometimes i will bring her or drive her to the nearby shopping malls for walk and dinners. She really enjoys going out . And she will smile to anyone who smiles at her.

Yesterday when i met up with May to visit u , she asked me whether would i remarry if i meet another right guy in the future. Well, i've already told myself i won't marry again and i wouldn't want to find another boyfriend. I only have u in my heart.. She also ask me whether do i still feel as sad as before. Scars are still scars. It still hurts .. I still cry whenever i think of u and whenever i look at your photos. I need more time .. I still have Bella ..

Hmm... trying my best to "see open" now.. yesterday when we were walking around at the cemetery .. we saw a 2 year old little boy's grave. He passed away about a month ago. And just nice when we were about to leave, there is this old man and a young woman who came to visit the little boy. I nearly broke down in tears when i saw the old man , looking at the little boy's photo , and talking to him while the young woman is arranging the toys and the flowers on the grass patch.. It must be real hard to lose this cute little boy ...

Last saturday evening when i was back from work around 10pm, someone has passed away at the block opposite my place cos' there were people busy setting up the wake at the void deck.. The next morning , i found out from my aunt that the person is a uncle that she knew living opposite our block. She said that this uncle just fetched his wife to work in the morning on the day before he passed away .. and in the late afternoon, he has a heart attack and passed away in the hospital. I have walked passed a few times at the wake for the past few days ... i always hear his wife crying beside him .. Today was  his funeral .. whole family must be devastated for the sudden loss of this kind man ..

I think i've started to "see open" .. tat life is indeed fragile.. Doesn't mean u need to fall sick to die .. U can die anytime anyday at any moment .. It is real scary .. Not scary to die , but scary to see our love ones crying and feeling heartbroken for the lost. I've learnt a lot .. learn to cherish every moment i have with my family and friends , learn not waste any time , learn to do whatever things that i want to do ... I don't want to have any regrets in my life , or at least to the minimum..