Dear lao gong
I'm finally recovering ... after 8 days of non stop diarrhoea. I've finished my medication on friday and yet still running to the toilets, therefore i went to see doctor again yesterday. She gave me stronger types of medication. Works pretty fast, no more toilets in the evening .. finally out from hell.. haven't been eating for the past few days as i felt very bloated and no hunger pangs at all .. CNY is coming close.. hope i can get well soon ..
Off day today and tomorrow. Finally can get some proper rest. Brought Bella to mother's place this morning. Mother misses Bella a lot as i've been working for the past 2 sundays and haven't been visiting her. Mother was sick too . She has cough and flu but she's recovering now.. She wore a mask when she played with Bella but did not carry her as she doesn't want to pass her virus to her. Next visit will be on first day of CNY as i've got to work for the next few sundays...
On new year eve, i'll be working till 6pm .. after work, i will be going back to mother's place for reunion dinner with the family. Everybody will be at mother's place for dinner. Big brother will be doing the cooking for all of us.. It will be the first time for our family to have reunion dinner without u around. I guess it will be sad for all of us .. Everybody misses u .
Yesterday after work, i went downstairs to buy dinner. I passed by Sheng Siong supermarket. There were loads of CNY goodies and they have taken up all the empty spaces that they can around the supermarket. Suddenly, i think of u . Still remember last year we were shopping for CNY goodies at the supermarket for our home .. We were still laughing and making fun of the new year songs that they've played. One year has gone.. how time flies.. and u r not around anymore.
Next week i will be making a trip down to CCK cemetery to pay u a visit and to clean up your tombstone. So sorry that i haven't been visiting u as i was busy with work, driving and taking care of our baby. I hope u will understand. Since CNY is coming soon, i will go there to polish up your place for the new year.. I know u've missed me.
Everyone has been consoling me telling me that you will be in heaven looking over us .. well, it is true? No one has the answer until one really passes on. I wish u will be looking out for us too.. making sure that Bella is safe and healthy.. Many people around me have learnt to move on without u in their lives. It seems like i still have the difficulty doing so. Though at times i may still behave back to my happy-go-lucky self.. but in my heart i still feel the very bad pain without u. I know it's uncurable.. but still, i don't have any choice. I really wonder why God didn't give me any chance but just ONE WAY to go .. I hate this feeling and i don't want this feeling. What can i do?
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